Self help
Getting a little support for yourself
No one can tell you what to do (unless you are at serious risk of harm) – you have to do what is best for you, your situation, what you feel ready for and what is safe. Sometimes supporters and family can be really well-meaning and protective but can unintentionally make your situation worse if not educated and ‘on-board’ with your decisions.
So, if you’re not quite ready to share but need help there are a number of things you can do for yourself, these are summarised below. There are also numerous organisations that can offer you information, advice and occasionally anonymous chatrooms that you might find helpful – I’ve listed some of these here. Addiction can be isolating so reaching out and being part of a community can help you to feel a little less alone.
Educate yourself
Learn about the substance, what it does for the person, the ‘highs’, lows, withdrawals and possible risks. It honestly makes a big difference if you understand what you’re dealing with - Drug Science is an excellent website. It also helps to understand treatment pathways and how to engage services.
1
Self Care
Try to maintain your physical and mental well-being; make time for yourself, do something that you enjoy, try to do some form of physical exercise, ideally outdoors in nature, such as a walk, breathing or medication exercises, drink plenty fluids, keep safe, manage your emotional needs.
2
Communication
This is often very hard and timing can be tricky. Try to keep calm, acknowledge positives, try not to be accusatory or inflammatory – guilt and shame are common factors in addiction so whilst it might feel counter-intuitive, making someone ‘feel bad’ in the heat of the moment can worsen a situation.
4
Set boundaries
What will you/will you not accept? How will you maintain care for your loved one without enabling? It’s important that they take responsibility for any consequences.
3
Space
If it’s safe to do so engage when sober. Again, it’s not an easy thing to do and only you can know if it’s something you can do safely.
5
Community
Having a supportive network around you, a safe space to talk, a common-interest group or trusted friends is important for your mental health (and frankly your sanity). It’s estimated that one in ten people in the UK have been impacted by addiction in one form or another so you’re most definitely not on your own.